Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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