There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize