I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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