he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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