At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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