When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
