How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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