actually, I'm a sock model
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
