The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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