The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
