even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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