Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
