How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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