just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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