No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
