i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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