Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
