you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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