dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
