He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
