Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
