mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize