You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
