The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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