Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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