You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize