Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
