My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
