Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
