You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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