yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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