Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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