Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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