Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
