is your mom at the bar?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
