with your own penis?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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