I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
