Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
