love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
