it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
