Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
