tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
