I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He passed out mid-signature
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
