After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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