so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
