You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
