speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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