So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
