i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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