yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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