at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
