Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The best revenge is premature balding
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize