thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
