I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
