He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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