Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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