Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
