erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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