I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
