i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize