Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
