I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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