You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
