he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
