So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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