Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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