i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A+ Viking dick
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
