I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
