I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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