make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
