I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
