It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
operation harelip BJ is a go
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize