I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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