my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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