wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
