I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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