Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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