Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
