we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
